Recently I was sitting with a few of my girlfriends and the topic came up, why do some smart, successful women have a hard time finding love? Why do they make good decisions in the boardroom and bad choices in the bedroom?
We discussed how relationships are tough, time is short, quality choices are slim, and sometimes we can think a bad choice is better than no choice at all. I was silent because I felt like one of those women.
I’ve been married many times and I know some of my choices in hindsight weren’t the best decisions for me. Despite the pain, embarrassment and self-loathing, I never gave up on love.
It would have been easy for me to never want to date anyone again or be in any type of relationship. Rather than being bitter about love, I wanted to get better at finding it. I trusted in the power of love and, more importantly, in the power of prayer.
I realized my choices weren’t good for me, so I decided to be patient and wait for the man God had planned for me. I knew God couldn’t be wrong.
They say we’ll be the same person in five years as we are today, except for the people we meet and the books we read. I found the truth in this statement because a book I read started to change my paradigms about relationships.
The book is called “The Right Man Business Plan for Women”. The book shows how to use fundamental business principles, relationship economics and entrepreneurial skills to help you find the right person and have a great relationship. It shows and shares the similarities and parallels of business and romance.
I had never thought of dating and relationships as a business, but this made me realize in unexpected ways – in business, we make decisions based on facts, reason, and justification. In romance, we make decisions about feelings, emotions, and passion. The exercises in this book made me re-examine my values, priorities, boundaries, and non-negotiable standards.
The author states that to build a house you need a plan, to make a movie you need a script and to start a relationship you need a plan. It reminded me that the real start of a business or relationship is what happens before you start. Proper planning and preparation are necessary to lay the groundwork for a successful business or relationship.
Now for full disclosure – I was so impressed with this book that I married the author, whom I had known for twenty-six years. My love for my husband did not cloud my judgement, this book is a game changer for women. Not only can you learn what it takes to start a business, but you’ll also learn ways to think about relationships differently and what it takes to make them last and love them.
In business, you have to decide what type of legal organization you will be. One type is not necessarily better than another; it’s just a matter of knowing which structure best suits your business needs. The book breaks down the structures on how they relate to romance. Make sure you and your partner are in the same structure.
Sole proprietor = Single looking to mingle
Partnership = Committed relationship
Limited liability company (LLC) = Living together
Society = marriage.
This Valentine’s Day, be on the lookout for the right relationship for you. Never give up in love.
Healing without hate: It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Pass it.
Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is a life strategist, coach, consultant, author and speaker.